Hello everyone!
Hope you’re all keeping your sanity as we gear up for the big holiday season!
Catch a break with us as we dive into some more AITA!
Don’t forget to listen to this week’s latest podcast episode.
Enjoy :)
Asshole of the Week
AITA for not giving 24 hours notice to my daughter’s roommates before dropping something off?
OP’s daughter (20F) is a junior in college, and goes to school in the same city as where her parents live. The daughter and two friends live in a condominium which OP owns. The condo was left to OP by her parents, with the intention of eventually being passed on to OP’s daughter when she was ready to have her own place. OP, her husband, and her daughter have agreed that the daughter will take it over when she has graduated from college and is able to support herself financially.
While OP’s daughter does not pay rent, the two friends/roommates do. However, they are charged below-market numbers.
OP’s daughter mentioned to OP that she was out of some housekeeping supplies, and that she was trying to find time to go get them. OP offered to pick them up at the store for her and drop them off at the apartment. OP’s daughter accepted, and informed her roommates that her mom would be by the next day to drop off supplies.
When OP got to the apartment, she knocked on the door and nobody answered. Her daughter was in class, so she assumed that nobody was home. OP let herself in to find one of the roommates (Roommate 1) and a man doing the deed on the couch. Mortified, OP left the supplies at the door and left quickly. She didn’t say anything to her daughter, as she didn’t want to cause any drama.
Soon, OP received an angry email from the roommate’s parents, berating her for invading their daughters’ privacy. They claimed that since OP is the girls’ landlord, she needs to give 24-hour notice before entering the apartment. They threatened legal action should it happen again.
OP’s daughter filled her in on the full story, which is that Roommate 1 was aware and simply forgot. The man with whom Roommate 1 was canoodling was actually Roommate 2’s boyfriend, so Roommate 1 flipped when they were walked in on, thinking that OP would make everyone aware of the affair. Roommate 1 will be moving out. OP plans to write a more detailed lease for Roommate 2, for both her protection and for OP’s.
Our Opinion: NTA. Clearly Roommate 1 is the asshole here - for hooking up with her friend’s boyfriend, and for getting her parents riled up against OP when it was her own fault.
Top Comment: “NTA. You were not entering in the capacity as Landlord but in the capacity as your daughter’s mother, in which case you do not need to provide notice. You also had your daughter’s permission. Roommate had no expectation of privacy vis-a-vis her roommates who could have walked in at any time (regardless of whether they had a class scheduled or not); she shouldn’t have been doing it on the couch out in the open. EDIT: For all those that are claiming that OP was an AH for not giving 24 hours notice to the other two roommates before entering the unit EVEN IF she was accompanied by her daughter, whereas the parents of the other two roommates could enter without any notice to other roommates. This is just warped logic on so many levels. Anybody having sex on a couch in the living room of a shared apartment should have NO expectation of privacy.” - Reddit user CreampieLuver1
Let’s Debate
AITA for leaving after being told to be quiet at dinner?
OP (21F) was invited to dinner by her boyfriend’s (24M) family (mom, dad, and 16-year-old brother). OP and her boyfriend have been dating for almost a year, but OP has not met his family yet. All OP knew was that they were a conservative, Christian family.
OP wrote that she got along very well with them leading up to dinner. She described them as “lovely and talkative.” When they finally sat down to dinner the father led a prayer, at the end of which he said something to the effect of, “‘Let us dig in and let the food keep us quiet.’” OP said that this is a pretty common thing to say before a meal, particularly with young schoolchildren. OP’s understanding was that you shouldn’t speak with food in your mouth, or be too loud at the table.
The family served fish soup, and after taking her first bite OP said, “‘This is delicious - is it saffron? A perfect autumn soup!” The family was caught off guard, and the father shushed her and repeated, “‘Let the food keep us quiet.’” OP apologized, thinking perhaps she had accidentally spoken with food in her mouth. But a few minutes passed, and nobody said a word. OP found this strange, since the family had been so talkative before, and her boyfriend was even being weirdly quiet.
After a few minutes, OP attempted to start a conversation - asking about their day, and saying that it was nice of them to invite her to dinner. She got shushed again, and it finally clicked for OP - no talking at the table. In her attempt to comprehend this, OP let a laugh slip out.
OP’s boyfriend’s parents told her that she was being disrespectful, and that if she couldn’t respect their rules then she could eat alone in the kitchen. Instead, OP thanked them for the food and hospitality and left, going back to the hotel room that she and her boyfriend were staying in. Later, OP’s boyfriend told her that it was an asshole move and she should’ve just kept quiet or eaten in the kitchen.
Our Opinion: NTA and the boyfriend is, for not telling OP about the rules before the dinner. He had a whole year to tell her about this rule, and didn’t even think to warn her. Now, we can see where OP might have been a bit of an asshole by laughing and leaving. It may have been more beneficial to the relationships to endure the awkwardness and apologize after dinner.
Top Comment: “NTA. He could have warned you and given you the opportunity to skip dinner because you don’t dine in monasteries. Also you are not a three year old to be sent to the kitchen to eat alone.” - Reddit user AryaIsWaif